AnimalNotes

Tears In Heaven

13 years ago, last month, my mom passed away.  At her funeral, my brother, Mark, played two songs.  Well, he didn't exactly play them in person although he wanted to.  Instead, he recorded them the day before the funeral and that recording was played.  It was noble of him to want to play in person however we were all pretty sure it would be difficult beyond reason to get all the way through.  Hell, I gave the eulogy and I barely made it to the end and that was nothing but words; much less trying to play a guitar too. 

The two songs he did were Time In A Bottle by Jim Croce (one of Mom's favorites) and Tears In Heaven.

A month ago, I believe on the exact anniversary of her death, he sat down and performed Tears In Heaven again...this time recording it on video.  I think it is a fitting Mother's Day tribute to my mom, may she rest in peace.  We all miss you, Mom.  Here then, is my brother Mark, performing Tears In Heaven...

No One Understands Me

Meet Joseph Linello. You're welcome. No, really. You dont have to thank me. Honestly.

One Month Later

Well, gee, funny how time flies, eh? 

Given the rumblings from the faithful three (although the pride and joy is strangely absent), it would appear I have been remiss in posting.  I really don't have an excuse for this so if you'all want to meet me out back, you can beat the living crap out of me and I promise to follow the first rule of fight club which is "you dont talk about fight club".

In the meantime, I dont know how many of you have seen this Etrade commercial.

It's very cute however somewhat inaccurate. 

While the father's reticence toward buying a stock online is real enough, they don't show you what happens the next day, the day after that and the voluminous days after that in which the new stock owner basically glues himself to his computer screen, fires up the really cool financial tools that Yahoo offers and watches the price of the stocks he just bought gyrate wildly like a frickin elephant in the midst of a 8.5 magnitude earthquake.  Here's a guess as to how that might sound

- WHAT?? OH CRAP!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! JESUS, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? Oh, that's better, CHRIST!!! Oh, that's better HOLY SHIT!! UH, WHY THE HELL DID I DO THIS??

And so on... How do I know this to be true?  Well, my fair feathered friends, I did the "buy some stock over the Internet" thing on Tuesday.  You see, Ive had my IRA stashed in an extremely conservative cash account and was actually getting a decent interest rate on my money.  Until lately, that is.

Over the past six months, it's been cut in half due to all the credit crap that's going on out there in the marketplace and Ive been inching toward getting out there and doing some actual investing.  Ive spent the past two months doing some heavy research and Ive even put together a dummy portfolio to see how various stocks were doing.  Yeah, I know, there's tons of investment products which dont involve hand picking stocks however I figured the overall market is pretty jittery so I might be able to do better on my own rather than buying something which covers an overall investment goal. 

I identified four potential stocks and have been tracking them.  There were specific reasons for selecting these stocks.  Yesterday, after deciding they were all trading at a fairly attractive prices relative to year to date performance, I gathered my wits and pulled the trigger. 

And then watched as my portfolio promptly lost money. And watched again today as my portfolio lost some more money.  And those phrases mentioned above were sprinkled liberally through my apartment in the past two days; at various decibel levels. Now, to be sure, I havent lost the farm...the portfolio is down 2.5% which isnt a huge amount and does include the cost of the trades.

Still, it's fairly unnerving to start out down so, hopefully, I wont spend quite as much time in the future gaping at my computer screen, screaming obscenities and my portfolio will pull its head out of its ass and head in the right direction.

Today's Helpful Tip

Jesus, I cant believe its been so long since I posted.  For that matter, I cant believe how fast time goes.

ITS FRIGGIN APRIL!

If I was still a raging drunk, I'd go buy me a couple of cases of Rainier Ice Beer (what?  they no longer make it?  THOSE BASTARDS!!) and hole up in my bedroom; drinking the damn beer, one by one and wrestling with that monstrosity otherwise known as the faithful form 1040 that the gubbermint  manages to send my way right about this time each year. But I dont drink anymore because I have responsibilities which currently take the form of one cute little girl who insists on telling me about her bodily functions and another really cute little girl who eggs her on while giggling her cute little head off.

So I have to face April without the assistance of the demon alcohol which, hey, aint such a bad thing since Ive managed to get through it for many years before now.

This seems like as good as time as any to mention that, if you own a business and you're wondering just how in the hell to manage it effectively in this world of instant feedback and internet avalanches, you need to read this book.  It doesn't come out until July but now's as good a time as any to start the hype, eh?

And, just why should read this book, you ask with a quizzical look on your face?

BECAUSE ITS THE BEST GODDAMN BOOK OUT THERE IN THE UNIVERSE, DAMMITT!

Oh, and I helped write it.

If that aint enough to send you over to Amazon.com right this very minute to pre-order, I dont know what is.  For roughly one sixy second the price Eliott Spitzer paid that hooker, you can get a LOT of useful knowledge about how to deal with your customers who now, more than ever, can put a serious dent in your business faster than you can say Ashley Dupre.  Unless, of course, you've read this book.

Then, you'll be armed with insight and knowledge gleaned from numerous case studies and you'll KNOW how to keep your company from being page one fodder on yourcompanysucks.com.  And, if somehow you manage to end up there anyway, you'll know how to deal with the situation effectively without having to resort to sending Tony and Guido around to rearrange some nerd's face. 

This is going to be a number one bestseller so get it now before the price goes up.  Dont say I didnt warn you!

Latest Update On Hillary Sniper Incident

For all of you who think CBS has unfairly picked on Hillary by showing video that directly contradicts her story that she underwent sniper fire while visiting Bosnia twelve years ago as first lady, here is recently unearthed news footage that bolsters her claim.